If You Ever Find Yourself on the Edge of the Precipice of Greatness… Jump.”

Okay, show of hands: how many people are honestly and truly afraid of the unknown? It’s okay, you can be honest. We’re all friends here. Of those of you who raised your hands, how has that fear of the unknown affected your life and the decisions you make? It’s definitely had an effect on mine. Even though I consider myself a man of faith, it is still insanely difficult for me to trust the things that I do not know. Consequently, I haven’t been that much of a risk taker over the course of my life. I have always tended to play things safe and watch things as they unfold before I make any type of decision. In some respects that’s been a good thing, while other times it’s caused me to be late to the party.

I sometimes wonder how much of it is fear of the unknown or sheer fear of failure. I like to think that I’ve had a bit of success in my life: I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half, I’ve worked (and still do from time to time) with Florida State athletics, I have family and friends that love me and I know I’m appreciated by those around me. That’s all great, but there is no amount of success that can help you deal with failure when it comes. Sure, if you have a wonderful support base as I do, you have shoulders to lean on when certain things in life beat you down, but as sad as this may sound, sometimes, that just isn’t enough.

There’s a great quote out there that goes: “If you ever find yourself on the edge of the precipice of greatness… jump.”

Such a great line, and it’s absolutely telling us the right thing; but as with other things in life, it is easier to say than it is to do. I’m sure there’s at least one of you, perhaps more, that had an opportunity come your way, but you were afraid to take it because you weren’t sure what was on the other side. I’m not here to chastise you for that. I, myself, am guilty of the very same thing. What is it about human nature that some people can’t overcome that fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough, that prevents them from rising to greatness, to be with they were destined to be? I don’t know the answer; and I’m not sure that even the most learned psychologist could give you a concrete answer is to why that is, because there’s so many different reasons as to why it could be.

Another show of hands: a long time ago, you sat across from her teacher, a parent, a mentor, and said “I want to be or do ‘blank’ when I get older.” Maybe that’s not the right question to ask because so many things change from childhood to adulthood. So maybe the question is better phrased it this way: of those of you that went to college or trade school, I’m sure most of you had a career goal in mind going in. How many of you have actually accomplished that goal? Of those of you who didn’t, how many of you still have that burning desire to do what you set out to do but for one reason or another can’t achieve that. I know I do. I chose to come to Florida State because I wanted to get into the film industry, and for those of you who don’t know, FSU has one of the most respected film schools in the nation. As you can tell, that didn’t quite work out the way I had planned. I’m not in the film industry, and my chosen major, Sport Management, is about as far away from Hollywood is you can get. However, I still have that burning desire, years after graduating college, to go out and be involved in film.

There is no part of me that ever wants to go “Hollywood”. In my humble opinion, most of the stuff that Hollywood puts out today is crap. Nobody has any original ideas, and half the movies that are made today are remakes from our generation. I would be just as happy being an indie filmmaker, or helping others with their projects.

The problem is I neither have the money nor the resources to do so, but I know that one day I will be will to realize my dream of opening my own little studio and creating my own projects, and, as I said, helping others with theirs. I’m fully aware that I could probably speed up the process by getting a hold of some people around the city and at the film school that are involved in such things, but I’ll be completely honest. I just don’t have it in me; but somehow I know that one day it will happen.

Then there are others who have the testicular fortitude to go out and create their own opportunities, make their own greatness. I have no shame in telling you that I envy those people. Those are the kind of people that just don’t care what happens. They throw caution to the wind and whatever comes, comes. If they fail, they do it we all should do when we find ourselves in that situation. They pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again. It’s easier for those folks because they are able to handle failure better than the rest of us. That’s not to say they don’t get down, I’m sure they do; but they also know how to get back up. Believe me, I’ve fallen many times in my life and I do know how to get up, but it’s just going that extra mile, that extra bit of “go get” that I just don’t have. That doesn’t change how I feel about myself. I know that’s just who I am; but yet, I still know that one day my dream will come true. I don’t know how and I don’t know when. I just know that it will.

How about the rest of you? You have any stories like this you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them.

Who Do You Trust?

Is it just me, or does it seem that it’s always the people you trust the most are always the ones to let you down? Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like for the last 16 or so years of my life, I’ll put my trust in somebody (which is not easy for me to do), somebody that says they’re willing to help me out or do whatever, then when the time comes, it’s like I don’t even exist. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining nor whining. It may sound like it, but trust me I’m not. I’ve gotten way past the point in my life to where I let that type of stuff affect me. There were too many times in my life that I let those types of things affect me and it made me a miserable human being. Then, one day, I realized that worrying over that stuff just is not worth it.

The thing that always strikes me as funny is that, like I said before, it only seems to be the people you trust the most that let you down; then there are the people who you know to be undependable, they’ve more than proven themselves to be so and THEY’RE the ones that actually come through for you. It never  makes any sense. It’s hard for me to explain what I’m talking about without calling people out, and I’m better than that. I don’t sink to those tactics. What I’ve learned over time, going through some of the stuff that I’ve been through, is that people are going to make decisions, and those decisions are going to have an effect on you one way or the other. I can’t let the negative decisions that people make affect me, because in the end, it’s their loss. I know what I can bring to the table, and if they don’t want to utilize it, then that’s their decision.I have no problem taking my creative talents, given to me by the Almighty, elsewhere.

You know what this sad part is? I’ve been down this road before, in this exact same situation and I left it behind because I saw the writing on the wall; but I thought with the change in leadership–the new leader being someone whom I trusted–things would be different; and I have to admit that for awhile, things were really good, and I was happy, because things were going the way they always should have gone, but now it seems that leadership has gone back to the way of their predecessors, and left me hanging. This person was the last person I expected to do that type of thing. I went back in good faith because of the new leadership–the ONLY reason I went back is because of the new leadership, because I knew I had someone that I could trust. What did my trust get me get me? A few months of good, and then right back to BS.

The only thing that pisses me off is the lack of communication. I have sent no less than 4 e-mails since July to absolutely no response. There is never any excuse for that. Ever. I don’t expect an answer to my question right away, I know people are busy; but how much does it take to acknowledge the fact that you have received my communication? Not much. Especially in the age of smartphones. How much does it take to pull out your iPhone and say “got your e-mail, it’s too soon to answer that, but e-mail me later in the week to remind me.” That I don’t have a problem with. What I do have a problem with is when I send a communication, more than one communication, and never receive a response. Not one single, solitary word. Not only is that inconsiderate, but it is highly unprofessional, especially when I’m offering my help. Is it really that much to ask that you acknowledge it? I guess it is. I guess it’s too much to say “I don’t have anything for you right now, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do.” That’s one sentence. One little measly sentence; and I can’t even get that much.

I don’t need my ego stroked. I’ve never been about that. I don’t need people to tell me that I’m great, I don’t need people to tell me that I look good, I don’t need any of that. I have enough self-esteem to get me through without hearing all that. As a matter of fact, it actually makes me uncomfortable to hear stuff like that and to receive praise. It sounds strange, but it’s true. All I ask is the basic human decency to acknowledge my presence.

More than likely, I think what’s happened, is that the rise to power may have gone to leadership’s head, and they have forgotten the people that helped get them there. I know that I am but a miniscule part, but I did help. I don’t want a thank you, nor a pat on the back. I don’t need it. But you don’t even have the decency to acknowledge I exist? That’s not good. That makes you lose lots of points in my book. Like I said, I’ve been here before. What’s that expression? “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Never again.

I know that the Big Guy in the Sky has a plan for me. I guess this wasn’t it.